Now More Than Ever
by MaliJo
Summary: Anna loved Kristoff, but he wasn't Hans. Anna knew Kristoff was a safe choice, but... he never showed the love Hans did, that night behind the waterfall, the love she saw in his eyes. Knowing that the feeling will pass, Anna ignored her heart until she discovered she was pregnant and decides to open that door for Hans ... Just one more time... (Hanna)
1. Pining For You

**A/N:**** My first just Hanna fic. I hope you enjoy! I hate making long notes so I won't... ;D**

**RATED T: For mild language, suggestive themes and some angsty scenes. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Frozen, nor do I own the cover image, just the plot is mine! ****Enjoy... please leave a review :)**

**~MaliJo x**

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**Chapter One**

Pining For You

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It had been two months. Two months since the great thaw as it came to be known as. Now deemed a triumphant moment of love and peace in Arendelle. Something the townspeople and folk worldwide would come to celebrate each year for many years to come.

If Elsa was being honest, it was the happiest she had ever been. Her powers of cold ice and snow were among the many things Arendelle came to respect and some, even worship. They were a shield for all her people, a barrier that told selfish royals from places such as the Southern Isles that they were not to trespass and try to snatch away the throne so easily.

The majestic Snow Queen was also ecstatic to say the least that her long-lost friendship with her younger sister was slowly but surely being rekindled to the love they shared as young children, waking up at silly hours in the morning to trash the castle in snow. Those were the days.

As the memory of striking her sister once haunted her, it now enlightened her. Taught her a lesson of not to be so _evil_, but to be _careful _with how she uses her powers. And boy she was.

So basically, as the two months quickly passed by, things in Arendelle seemed to be picking up and the highly-anticipated summer was definitely worth the price. All their efforts sparkled in the clear waters of the Fjord and happiness glittered upon everyone's faces. Elsa could happily argue that this was the best thing that could ever happen to her. Even the potent ice master of Arendelle was doing a good job and working his way into her good books.

Unfortunately, if Anna was honest, nothing changed. The young Princess still felt a gap in her heart though much bigger. The kind of ache she'd had all the way through her neglected childhood but much stronger, much harder to ignore, much more tear-jerking. For the life of her, she honestly couldn't figure out why.

Herself and Elsa had never been closer, her new friendships with Olaf, Sven and the people of Arendelle were progressing each day and her light romance with Kristoff was supposedly flourishing like peach blossoms. So why? Why did she feel so empty…

It took her a couple of weeks to realise that she was heartbroken. Pining for someone she hoped in time she could forget. Hans. The Prince who very nearly stole her heart. She hadn't a clue where he was now. He had been thrown in a ship and sent back to his home. For all she knew, he could be rotting in a cell, slaving over his twelve older brothers or even a painless memory lost to the guillotine.

Everytime she thought of him, her heart skipped a beat. The way it did when she first gazed up at him, leaning down politely, a promising smile across his lips and his hand outstretched. For her. Then of course, the memory of excitement shattered into thousands of shards and was replaced with the pain of his rejection, the loss of his love, the betrayal he threw upon her. At that point in thought, he heart would crack into two pieces and sometimes, even a tear would press through those largely naive eyes of hers.

She missed him. She didn't miss the lies or the evil, she missed _him. _The man who did in fact show her love for the first time. The man who held her close and told her that they didn't have to dwell on the pain of the past, that they had each other. That their doors were open.

And that was the problem. Anna still held her door open for him. Still hoping he'd return to her, she wouldn't even care if he could never apologise, she knew better that his mind was corrupted and filled with thoughts of greed and all he wanted was love, _real _love. It was a shame, he could have just looked a little deeper and found it within this woman, this Princess with a heart bigger than the ocean that lay between them.

Anna now lay on her large cushioned bed, facing up at the soft pink canopy in thought. She thought of Hans mostly, she wondered if perhaps he thought of her back in his cell, or wherever he was. And then, she thought of Kristoff.

Kristoff.

The name left a queasy and uneven feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach. For what reason, she secretly knew but pretended to stay oblivious to what her heart wanted. Her mind screamed at her that Kristoff was a good and loyal man, one that would never lie or cheat, one that would protect her in the deadliest of winter storms like he already had before.

But then again, Anna was never one to listen to her head. Especially after her heart had been frozen. As it thawed, it was extra sensitive, extra tender. It demanded much, much more attention. As a result, her mind became just a useless button. Just a spare in case the heart would screw up... again.

It was her head that fed her the instructions of punching Hans in the face that day when after the violent act of retribution was made, caused him to plummet backwards into the Fjord. Though her heart desperately screamed at her to sure, shout at him, but wrap her arms around him and tell him that her door was still open, that they could make it work.

Somehow she felt that could have changed everything, that could have maybe, changed _him. _The masks he wore were all too deceiving she just wanted to see the man behind the mask who she very briefly caught a glimpse off during their romantic duet, behind that waterful…

When beads of sweat trickled down his forehead and bare chest, his floppy auburn hair brushing past her face and their quiet pants tangled together in unison, syncing with the hums of the waterfall acting as a fast-flowing curtain before them. There was no evil or gaudy Prince act glazing over his green eyes. Just love. Or at least that's what she uncovered. That's what she saw. The memory was so vibrant and so fresh yet… so much had happened since then, so much had been erased. Now, Elsa never liked to be reminded of her or Hans' villain acts. The Queen was even contemplating whether to pass a law about it. Anna chuckled. She could never tell anyone how she felt.

She started to find that perhaps herself and Elsa were switching places. Now Anna kept her true emotions hidden behind fake smiles and shining sea-green irises whilst Elsa willingly fluttered around in happiness. And good for her, Anna was happy for her older sister who had had an even more painful childhood than her own. But that didn't stop the regret eating away at the redhead's insides every day, about Hans of course.

How Anna saw it was: if Hans can wear a mask, so can she. She'd stay the happy-go-lucky Anna she's always been, why would a little heartbreak have to build cold concrete over her nature?

Yet she couldn't pull her mind away from the words he had spoke then, the twinkle in his eyes when he wasn't just without his garments but also, his mask.

**...**

"_Anna" Hans whispered, his ecstasy fading along with the sounds of heavy trickling water, enough to muffle the gasps and moans of both royals should anyone have passed them by._

"_Hans" Anna mused, gently stroking his flustered cheek with the back of her hand. He still hovered above her, his eyes bright green emeralds in the dark of the small but warm cave that lay behind the fall of mountain water. Though clouded over like mist with deep affection. It could have simply been the slow fading of pleasure that shattered his composed image above her, that bruised his smart demeanor as he breathed heavily upon her exposed and freckled skin, crumpling like the delicate sheet of paper he truly was. _

_Anna smiled a small smile to herself which he gradually returned. This moment was too good to end, to special to become just a memory. She wished it could last forever, hoped that it would become always, not just a fleeing heat of the moment response from their pale and clammy bodies that were once rustling in the dark like leaves blowing violently in the wind, now withered onto their hanging breaths like falling leaves. _

"_That… that was great" Anna spoke softly, later silently scolding herself for sounding like an overexcited kid brawling over hot chocolate. "Considering I've never done it before and-" Anna added before quickly, she stopped herself from babbling. _Great way to ruin the moment, champ _she thought irrationally._

_Hans chuckled, pretending he wasn't phased by taking the Princess's innocence yet in that moment he felt half surprised, half like the luckiest man alive to be even able to touch this girl-no, _woman_ before him. "I'm glad" Hans replied with a half-hidden smile. Trying obviously to hide his happiness. The situation was awkward as it is, it didn't dawn on the couple though._

_Awkward due to the fact they were wrapping up their intimate activities in a damp cave, the pieces of Hans'sthick cream suit and Anna's flowing green gown being the only things to cushion them from the jagged surface of the mountain rock. _

_But it really didn't matter where they were. They had each other, they had _love_. Anna couldn't imagine her time would come this way and this romantic, under the stars, upon one of the most treasured things to her heart, the dewy nature and sounds of free-flowing water. Things she'd been lacking for over a decade now. _

"_Hans…" Anna started quietly. _

"_Yes?" He replied with a warm smile. _

"_I know that I only met you this morning and I know that this is beyond impossible, it's going to sound crazy but-" Anna's sentence came to a halt as she felt Hans' index finger press gently against her lips, silencing the broken record tint of her voice. He grinned sidewardly. _

"_Anna, I love crazy" Hans told her, repeating his sentimental words from a while before. Anna smiled shyly up at him before shifting forward, forcing both of them to slowly rise into a sitting position on their fairly dry formal clothes. _

"_Okay" Anna whispered, thinking of something to say that wouldn't come out in a jumble of letters but rather a romantic declaration of love. She paused, fumbling with her hair ribbon that had also made its way in the pile of clothes beneath them. _

"_I… I love. I love you, Hans. I love you" Anna stammered awkwardly, her eyes filling with tears that were bursting with joy that she hoped Hans would then return. _

_For Hans, he was an easy-going listener, leaning into her conversation with a curious smile before it froze, his heart stopped at those words. He didn't think… well, he never had someone say that to him, their eyes full of sincerness as they spoke the words. This time full words, not empty words. He couldn't trust them… perhaps they were just another lie put out to him. His eyes shadowed until he caught Anna's hopeful and close to rejected gaze. His heart beat faster than a young stallion. This… Was this what he'd been searching for? Perhaps he wasn't here to steal the crown perhaps he was here to find a love that could hold him... Like this._

"_I love you to, Anna" Hans smiled, his eyes also welling up with tears he didn't think he'd be able to shed quite yet. Maybe this was his act… perhaps not, he couldn't quite tell. Before Anna had time to open her eyes from her small, content giggle, Hans' lips pressed against hers without warning. His fingers slowly traced the rounded curve of her jawline and gently pulled her closer to his puckered lips as he closed his eyes and melted into what he thought could possibly, just maybe be the first open door for him... _

_After a few moments, Anna's widened eyes full of shock fluttered closed and she felt the beautiful moment of fireworks ended all to soon when he pulled away, his face straight and full of love and lust until that all too gorgeous smile spread across his freckled face. _

_Even though they'd spent the past half-hour or so kissing and... participating in an act of true yet intimate love, Anna felt slightly shy and embarrassed now. Hans' eyes flickered over her sitting form and she all to quickly covered her chest with her arms shaking her head side wards. _

_"Hans!" She spoke, louder than she intended. _

_"Yes...?" He smirked._

_"I think... I think we should go back to the party!" Anna demanded, he eyes squeezed tight shut in embarrassment. Hans leaned forward and planted a single kiss on her cheekbone, she peeked through one eye at his sincere expression before grinning up at him. _

_"If we must..." he sighed before standing to his feet and retrieving his clothes. The two got dressed once again in comfortable silence, stealing glances and grins at one another until they finally emerged from the cave, smiling widely like idiots. _

_"But only after we finish our song..." Hans finally added, taking her hand and proceeding to harmonize along with her sweet voice._

**...**

Anna sighed. The two had left that memorable hour out of worry of _Elsa_ worrying where her sister could be. Not after Hans suggested they finished their song and he proposed. Anna honestly for the life of her couldn't tell whether he had proposed to her after taking Anna's declaration of love as a sign of easy access to the throne quicker or was he really ready to take the next step?

Her sigh deepened when she figured that this feeling wouldn't fade anytime soon. She lifted her head to reposition her head on the pillow only to find that the pillow was wet with salty tears. She hadn't even realised she was crying…

And that's when the notoriously happy Princess erupted into conscious tears over Hans' betrayal for the first time since it happened. She'd been holding them back for two months… two months of unnoticeable and excruciating pain she'd been holding back, all falling out of her without resistance. Just now.

_Oh Hans… _

If only he'd shown Anna the love he had when he answered her statement that night, if he had shown her that when she was dying. Perhaps the whole world, even the poles would have immediately thawed into sunshine. She still loved him.

It was painfully simple. She just… loved him.


	2. Morning Sickness

**Chapter Two**

Morning Sickness

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It was almost Anna's favourite day of the year, her Birthday which on normal levels, she'd argue was an actual real holiday worldwide and if she were sticking to the _normal _page of it all, she'd be buzzing like a firefly about it, leaping into the air with joy and understanding of how many gifts she'd receive but unfortunately, she'd flipped way past the normal page, it'd slid straight from her hands like sand through her fingertips.

Of course for Elsa's sake, she kept a smile on her face and kept the bounce and spring in each of her steps and surprisingly, her act was working a treat on even Sven who could smell trouble before it even happened. Actually, Anna was quite fatigued with all this pretending though, she hadn't an idea how much longer she could keep it all bundled up and locked away in her heart.

September the twenty-third, just one day before the Princess would turn nineteen and she wasn't the slightest bit excited about it. Something had been bringing her down. Wait no, not anything. She knew exactly what was weighing down every word she spoke. Hans. Hans, Hans, Hans.

She half-heartedly wished he'd be with her tomorrow to celebrate her Birthday and perhaps he would, but only in her dreams. The Princess Anna was now more alert than she'd ever been, less gullible and naive then before when Hans wooed her into marriage with one single smile. Because of that, she came to realise that most of her dreams were foolish and beyond ridiculous, verging on crazy. Hans would never return to her, it was impossible.

Anna suddenly came to a halt, realising she'd been staring at the ground in thought whilst walking. One more step and she would have tumbled down the spiral staircase which would have ended badly and Anna would've rather liked to avoid any nasty slip-ups.

The redhead young woman stroked the top of the oak bannister, sighing as her fingers came into contact with the smooth waxed wood. How long had she been hibernating in her bedroom? Three or four days she supposed. She was bound to get questions. From Elsa, from Kristoff. Questions she could never put a right answer to.

Though her mind was still buried deep in her morning pillows and blanket, her heart always longed to run outside and enjoy the last perks of summer before it would slowly seep out right under her nose into the windy bitterness of autumn.

After licking her lips and inhaling deeply, she skipped the part where she would gleefully slide down the bannister and instead turned to walking the full length of the steps, not jumping past or down a single one and her foot purposely reaching each step tantalizingly slow, just so she could think of some plausible excuses that Elsa, Kristoff and everyone else would be able to eat up.

"Well, look who came back to life!" Elsa exclaimed as Anna glumly entered the dining room. Elsa was seated neatly at the end of the long pine table, sipping hot water with lemon and taking small bites from a cinnamon roll. A book also balanced on her knee and as Anna read the cover she only shunned the idea that all Elsa ever read was factual, non-fiction books.

Anna ignored her sister's statement and gently slid onto the opposite seat, staring blankly at her breakfast. A chocolate roll which on normal occasions, she'd indulge herself in but for some reason, even the thought of chocolate churned her stomach and made her feel sick.

Once she felt her guts bubble and something lurch up her stomach, she quickly without hesitation pushed the plate of food away, taking to sucking on one slice of warm lemon to waft the taste and smell away. Only then did she relax in the chair.

Elsa stared at her meekly, blinking behind her china teacup and closing her book before setting her hands on her crossed thighs.

_Oh dear, here it comes. The dreaded questions. _Anna thought, the sourness of the lemon kicking in.

"So Anna… you've been absent for a while, care to explain?" Elsa asked sternly, faintly reminding Anna of their deceased father. The younger sister let out a small sigh, her eyes darting across the room in search of something to distract the Snow Queen with. Anything… just anything to not have to think and even worse, talk about the one that got away.

"Nothing" Anna finally spoke through her lemon slice, just as predictable as Elsa's strained look of annoyance as she pinched the bridge of her nose and frowned in thought. "Just tell me" Elsa demanded though her voice was hushed and soft, she knew all too well that Anna didn't take likely to orders or being told what to do. To get even any traces of an answer, Elsa would have to approach the situation lightly with a gentle tone.

"I know you, Anna" she said, standing to her feet, turning a blind eye to the bum-print of frost she left on her seat. "You can tell me anything you know, anything at all". Elsa glided towards her younger sister, bravely reaching out and caressing the freckled shoulder with her thumb and fingers. Anna swallowed, calming her nerves and pretending like it was nothing.

"I'm fine" Anna finally stated.

"We don't keep secrets, that's the past" Elsa explained. There was a long pause which gave Anna time to think about the past. It seemed so long ago that she found out about Elsa's secret.

Anna had kept cool when she rode off to find her sister, she'd pretended it was a small slip-up in the show and thought that she could make everything better, but being realistic, she couldn't.

The small and vulnerable woman had her mind so occupied, she barely dressed for the snow, she barely remembered her engagement yet she still jumped on the horse, handed the responsibility of watching Arendelle to Hans and set off, alone. She needed to be alone, to think things through and try and figure out everything. That was a long night.

"Don't think that I've forgotten your birthday either" Elsa hummed, cutting through Anna's thoughts. Anna glanced up to see Elsa smiling. Why on earth did it bother her this much today? For some reason, there are days when you're allowed to be happy and days when you're not. Anna always reckoned that there should at least be one depressing and long day in the week if not more. To maintain balance of course. And today was one of those days.

"Oh yeah?" Anna said absent mindedly. Elsa nodded, releasing her careful grip of Anna's shoulder and circling the dining table like an indecisive vulture.

"I wanted to talk to you about it" The blonde admitted. Anna glanced from side to side in silence as a few more quiet moments passed her by. "Talk then" Anna ushered her on.

"I can't"

"... Why the heck not?"

"It's a surprise"

"Well then why did you tell me?!"

Elsa came to a halt, leaning back and thinking to herself. _Why did I tell her? _She thought. Elsa took her previous seat and drained the last of her tea which was cooled under her grip. She didn't mind all that much.

Elsa finally answered her sister "I suppose I wanted to cheer you up… you've been kind of glum the past month". Anna moaned, sighing into her lemon water.

"Well your efforts were fruitless" Anna spoke rudely, her voice muffled slightly by her arm (As she was slumped over the table slightly) but Elsa decided against requesting her to repeat.

"That's a shame" Elsa commented.

"It is" Anna chimed, squirming slightly in her seat as she felt another aching twang in the centre of her stomach knot around her entire belly.

"Anna, you know I'm not good with dealing with… _feelings_" Elsa spoke awkwardly, elaborating the word as if it was a hushed topic, as if she was giving Anna 'the talk'.

Anna glared at one single scratch on the surface of the oak table, focusing in on that minor detail as she thought about _exactly _why she couldn't tell Elsa about her longing for Hans, her tears each night, her doubts over Kristoff and the sickness she'd been dealing with recently.

_Actually, telling Elsa about the sickness could get her off my case_ Anna thought smugly, her face drooping twice as much for means of effect.

"I was sick this morning" Anna admitted, going by all words of the truth as Elsa's crystal-blue eyes widened in Anna's direction, the look of concern in every porcelain pore.

"You were?!" Elsa inhaled quickly.

"And last week" Anna informed her.

"Oh dear…"

"I know so please stop questioning me because-"

"It's all that chocolate, Anna I knew this would happen. It's got to stop!"

"It's not chocolate!" Anna protested.

Elsa quickly got to her feet and marched towards Anna, inspecting her face and eyes. She did indeed look quite run down and pale, bloodshot eyes which were extra blue in result and also dark purple bags under that array of teal, her complexion genuinely frail and poor. Elsa felt a sharp rush of worry and guilt all at the same time. She obviously feared it was a side effect of the events two months ago when Anna transformed to a thick ice statue.

"N-no more chocolate now, I'm the Queen and your big sister and… and I'll be a goddamn good one, too!" Elsa loudly declared, snatching away the breakfast coated in chocolate which Anna had feebly ignored, now quickly diverting all her senses from the treat Elsa held in fear of spewing up her intestines like she had almost done that morning.

Anna marvelled silently at the way Elsa was trying to make up for lost time, fill in as her rightful place to take care of Anna like this and though Anna appreciated every attempt, it was in all honestly _too little, too late _and maybe if Elsa had been just as close to her all those years ago, she would probably be able to decipher exactly why Anna moped around the castle these days and cried herself to sleep for most of the nights.

"It wasn't actually the chocolate" Anna told her sister "I've been a bit off with chocolate recently".

Elsa cocked one eyebrow into the air and studied the full plate of chocolate-coated breakfast. Untouched by Anna and as she observed, just how it had been set up before Anna even trailed downstairs.

"This is a shame, the chef made this specially for you" Elsa noted.

"Tell him I'm sorry and he can eat it" Anna sighed.

"I'm actually really concerned".

Anna sat up in her chair, confusement lining each dimple, freckle and line on her face. No longer did she feel weak a lousy and that also concerned Elsa when Anna kept on alternating between angry, exasperated and sad. Anna felt like a hormonal teenager once more.

"Anna for God's sake. You've been living in your bedroom for the past few days, you're not eating, you're not sleeping, you're being sick. What in the actual Hell is wrong with you?! Just tell me!" Elsa yelled, very nearly at the top of her lungs. Anna watched with wide eyes as she saw Elsa's face, screwed up with fury. No ice. Yet.

"Elsa, just forget it, I beg you ...please" Anna whined with watery, tired eyes. Elsa swallowed, sighing in defeat as her arms wilted to her sides. _Anna maybe just needs some alone time _Elsa thought, despite Anna's already long absence.

"Okay" Elsa agreed with a solemn expression, her lips quivering into the smallest of smiles.

"Thanks" Anna whispered.

"But only if you eat something" Elsa insisted. Anna swallowed down the feeling of sickness again.

"Not chocolate" Anna stated with a grossed-out glint in her eyes.

"No, not chocolate but at least something… you're wasting away".

Anna glanced to her shrivelled up lemon slice remains. "Do we have any lemons?" she asked absentmindedly. Elsa thought for a moment.

"I think so but-"

"I'll eat them then". There was another long pause whilst Elsa contemplated letting her little sister off the hook.

"Fine but promise me you'll get some sleep" Elsa negotiated.

"Sure, sure" Anna mused.

"Anna"

"Okay, okay I will. I'll leave now, just don't bother me.. .please".

Anna stood to her feet and started making her way out of the room, her hands settling on the door handle and she caught a whiff of fresh bees wax that had been used on the floors in the hall perhaps whilst she was conversing words with Elsa. The smell caused her tummy to do backflips once again.

"And Anna…" Elsa began, stopping the redhead from taking another step.

"Yes?"

"Kristoff will be back soon, cheer up".

Anna bit her tongue and gazed down at the floor that continued under the heavy weight of the large doors. _Kristoff will be back soon… hopefully not too soon. _Anna liked having Kristoff around, the atmosphere was fun and friendly but not now. Not whilst every time Kristoff pulled her into a tight embrace, she imagined he was Hans. And that made her queasy, as if she were lying. To herself more than anyone.

The other thing that upset her was that Elsa was encouraging Kristoff's interest in Anna, as if she wanted them two together. Elsa believed that Kristoff could be Anna's perfect match, if not her perfect barrier which stopped her from falling hopelessly in love with more corrupt royals.

Bless them, they knew no better but still. _If only I could tell Elsa… _Anna thought, biting down in her bottom lip in utter and complete conflict. She sighed. They just weren't close enough. Though the door was opened, there was still a space, a barrier between them. Just like it is with Hans.

* * *

**A/N:**** Here you go! The latest instalment haha. **

**So anyway. Anna doesn't know she's pregnant yet (but we do haha). And you're going to definitely NOT want to miss next chapter, there's a lot of crazy jazz going on then. Hans will be introduced in chapter 4 or 5. As for 3... It's named _Birthday Surprise _so take what you will from that.**

**It's 2am, it's a school night. You know that Jas wants some reviews for this. Any feedback, follows and favourites are deeply appreciated. Till next time ;)**

**~MaliJo x**


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